I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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