Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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