It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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