in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
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at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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