My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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