goodnight i made you a song goodbye
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
how does that bad decision feel?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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