So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize