Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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