btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize