do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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