Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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