I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize