I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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