no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
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You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I party with great urgency now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize