we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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