why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
These tits shall not be calmed
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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