K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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