Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize