Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize