this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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