You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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