Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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