I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize