I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize