Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize