Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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