so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize