so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
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we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
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He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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