he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How does one acquire holy water?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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