hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
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I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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