What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
COCAINE IS GR8
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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