I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The air was thick with penises
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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