My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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