Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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