we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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