Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize