HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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