Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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