Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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