I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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