I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize