Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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