If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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