my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize