i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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