dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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