i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
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The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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