she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
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A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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