8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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