if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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